Childhood memories


I was at the supermarket yesterday, I went to the toys section & stood there is front of some fancy dolls,
then my whole childhood memories came back to me,

just yesterday I was standing there,

the only difference is that yesterday my biggest dream was to have as much as I could of those dolls,
today ; I don't even know what my dream is ..

Simple rules to become a better person




At this particular phase of my life, it's like I'm attending a class about the good and the bad in the world,

You think it's easy to judge if someone is a good or a bad person, that it's obvious what's it's like to be good & what's like to be bad ..
But in fact, that's not the case, there is a thin line between the two !
You don't need to save a life to become a person with a big heart, in the other hand, you don't have to do the most evil thing to be put next to bad people ..
It's all about who you are, the way you think, & how you feel about helping others..
They call it naivety, but it's actually an expression used by those who don't like to help others, to cover for their dark hearts !
More than once in my life, people have tried to talk me out of helping someone, because they don't deserve it, they don't mean anything to me, they wouldn't do the same for me ...etc etc.

But in fact, this is what you should do every time you're given an opportunity to help a person in need :

  • Never think about whether the person deserves it or not, helping a person in need has nothing to do with who the person is, it has to do with who you are, your principals, your values, & how you were raised !
  • Never start measuring the benefits of it, what you'll get for return, generosity is about giving without expecting nothing in return, it's a unique personalty trait that's not given to everybody, if you have it, use it, you'll be amazed how good it'll make you feel.
  • Put yourself in the place of the person in need, how would you feel if someone totally unexpected helps you in a difficult time ??
As for being a good person , this is how I think, that's my advise , & these are the rules I suggest for everyone to start with to become a better person:
  1. Don't be good with the people you love and bad with those you hate or you think they don't deserve it, they say "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." the way you treat people shows who you really are.
  2. When someone does a bad thing to you, don't start thinking in all the wrong ways, if you really love someone you're supposed to trust them, so start by finding them excuses instead of thinking negatively about them.
  3. Don't jump to conclusions: nobody's perfect and certainly nobody has a perfect logical thinking, sometimes people do or say things that you may not fully understand, and you could interpret them in the wrong way, don't do that !! you can be wrong, you can lose someone you love because you created something in your mind that doesn't really exists ! when you don't understand something, just ask !
  4. When you're positive that someone did something to you for the wrong reasons, don't start hating on them, talking behind their back and hurting them back, by doing that, you're making sure that you're as bad as them, and probably worse !
  5. Don't be so negative, I know people who see the world as a dark place where everyone is evil and everyone has bad intentions for them, it's okay be aware that the world is a dangerous place , but try shill out ! don't be so unfair toward people, to be a good person you shouldn't just do good things you should also think in a good way ! 
  6. Don't talk behind people's back, if you have a problem with someone, face them about it , if you hate someone, don't waste your time thinking about them, you wouldn't like for people to talk about you behind your back, so don't do it.
I'm not perfect, none of us is, but at least we should all make an effort to become better, to be positive, think positively and do some good stuff in the world, karma exists after all, you can never know how GOD is willing to reward you for you good acts :).

When you’re crying yourself to sleep because you have no hope , no answers , no one to listen to you & no one can help ..

Words can not describe how hard that feeling is ..


One day this pain will make sense to someone ..

Underwater

The song that describes my state the best right now !


If I could draw a line around myself
If I could be invisible no one could hurt me now
If I would never need nobody else
But its too late

You’re everything I swore I’d never be
You’re making me want something I was doing fine without
Like a wave you’re crashing over me
And it’s too late, it’s too late

I’m over my head, and there’s no way out
It’s like I’m underwater trying not to drown
The harder I fight, the deeper I fall
What I was so afraid to risk it all
I wish that I could hear
But I can’t remember how
But time can’t save me now
I’m underwater

I need you now, your hand to pull me in
“I wish i didn’t want you but i’m helpless to resist
I’m caught up in this struggle I can’t win
And it’s too late, it’s too late

I’m over my head, and there’s no way out
It’s like I’m underwater trying not to drown
The harder I fight, the deeper I fall
What I was so afraid to risk it all
I wish that I could hear
But I can’t remember how
But time can’t save me now
I’m underwater

I’m over my head and there’s no way out
It’s like I’m underwater trying not to drown
The harder I fight, the deeper I fall
What I was so afraid to risk it all
I wish that I could hear
But I can’t remember how
But time can’t save me now.. I’m underwater
Time can’t save me now..

Mom


Yes, she's alive , she's here, all the time ..
No, Never been inside her arms , never cried in her lab, never felt her love ...

First time feeling



For the first time in my life..

I feel lonely , alone, all by myself ...
there's no one to listen to me, to understand, & to feel how I feel ..
Absolutely no one !

It makes me laugh when I think about some of those I call "friends" where are they now ??

God life is so ridiculous, people surprise you a lot ..

I'm sitting here, alone , don't know if I should cry because of the way things are ..
or laugh because of how stupid I am to expect anything from anyone ..

Need to cry


I feel sad and lonely
Nothing seems to make me feel better
I need a good cry
I need to stay alone
I don't want to see or meet anybody
I don't feel like doing anything
my heart hurts !

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